There is no way that you can masturbate so much that you will never be able to enjoy sex with a live human person. It just is. It's not some weird thing that only creepy perverts do in alleys while wearing dirty nightgowns. They just do.
R29 Original Series
When I was 7 or 8, I hoisted myself into a tree and accidentally gave myself an orgasm. I only know that it made complete sense. I went at it with un-self-conscious zeal for a year or so, until I realized that it was kind of unusual and normalized my behavior by switching over to a more boring method. Whenever I tell friends and colleagues about my original method, it elicits eyebrow raises and embarrassed chuckles. Pleasure comes from pumping the pelvic floor muscle, which is at the base of the abdomen. But what if, rather than a pathology, the world of child masturbation is actually vast, heterogeneous, and shame-free?
May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself , a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure. Sometimes, left to our own devices, us humans will do stupid things — especially when horny. After scouring forums on which people described their weirdest masturbating tools a lot of plastic baggies, a lot of doll parts? Cleaning equipment isn't the best idea for your equipment. Depending on your vacuum, there's potential for mangling— some have a blade right inside the tube, designed to chop larger bits and pieces so it doesn't clog. According to The British Medical Journal, there have been numerous instances of penis-in-vacuum disasters. Also, the intense suction could leave blisters. Not to mention it's a device used to suck dust and dirt off of your floor. Your Dyson and your Johnson aren't friends. While the handle of your Mercer Culinary inch Chef's Knife might look fit for insertion, it's not.
Maybe it was an insertable, like a particularly phallic vegetable. Have I brought back that awkward memory for you? A certain item in your far or recent past that makes you blush just to think about it? So while you might be turning bright red about that one particular cucumber, the guy in the cubicle next to yours is totally mortified by a certain piece of fruit…. Probably not the kind of yelling most people expect from sex, solo or otherwise. Also, a yodeling pickle? Your friend has a silly sense of humor. A pickle as a receptive toy rather than an insertive toy. Who would have guess that one?